The Date From Hell

Be Aware of Dating Dangers. Scary Men - And What To Look Out For:

This is a date that I will anonymously tell you of, which occurred during a dating "streak" I was on.

At that time, I was very unaware that there are some men who view a date and a dinner as a license for furthering the sexual boundaries of the relationship. They feel that since they have contributed to your entertainment for the evening, they now have the right to demand sexual favors from you, in other words, that they have paid their price to buy you for the night.

I had a date of this sort one evening. I knew the "gentleman" in question for several months due to a college course we had in common at a large, urban university. He lived in the middle of the city and not far from the college. He picked me up at my place (where I was sharing a house with other students) and we left from there to see a movie and have an early dinner. It was mid-summer.

He was nice and polite during our time in the movies and at dinner. When we returned to go back to my place, he insisted that we had to stop at his place momentarily to get something. Because he lived in a rather rough neighborhood, I went with him upstairs to the apartment. I knew he shared with a roommate his age.

The minute we got in the door, he pressed me against it and locked his lips on mine. Then he began to get more familiar, without my permission. He then ordered me to remove my clothing so that we could have sex. I firmly told him it was not the right time for me, and he then countered with, "Come on, you owe me." Since he would not take no for an answer and would not move away from the door to let me through, after multiple attempts to get past him and multiple verbal warnings for him to stop, I finally felt threatened enough to go into his kitchen and grab the biggest knife i could find.

I held the knife in front of me and told him I would use it on him directly if he did not move out of my way. I got out of the apartment and ran down the stairs, hailed a cab to the nearest bus line and never saw this idiot again.

Women need to know that just because a guy dates you does not give him any right to non- consensual sex. This is the bald-face equivalent of attempted date rape, and had the times been different and/or I been less naive, I would have promptly reported this to the police. After all, if I had needed to stab him in self-defense, I would have been the one questioned and in jeopardy of going to prison due to his unseemly behavior. Luckily, it did not come to that, but this was a painful and very anxiety-provoking situation for me.

Do not go into a man's apartment unless you know him EXTREMELY well.